serious as a heart attack

I can’t tell you how nice it was to spend a little time with my dad and step-mom, and watch them enjoy my son. He’s still small and cute and fun, and he doesn’t annoy my dad yet. (My dad has little patience for rambunctious kids - he’s a little crotchety these days.) But of course, as was the time I spent with my grandma and aunt, the trip was much too short.

Today, my husband’s boss’ father-in-law (did you get all that) had a heart attack. When my husband told me, the first thing I did was call my dad. My dad smokes and has a rum and diet pepsi each night. He takes medication for high blood pressure. He’s had a couple emergency room visits when his blood pressure got too high. He’s been a nurse for almost 30 years, and he still behaves this way.

So I called him to tell him I love him and to quit smoking. I’m not naive enough to think that not smoking would solve all of his health problems, but I can’t see how it would hurt. He’s quit quite a few times, and plans to quit again on his birthday this year. It’s becoming an annual event. The quitting, I mean.

It doesn’t matter. I’m proud of him every time he quits. Then he starts with a cigar a few months later - or sometimes a year later, but it always starts with a celebratory cigar.

Apparently he’s smoking organic cigarettes now. I’m not sure what this means. Are they still just as carcinogenic as regular cigarettes? I’m sure they cost more, but are they any better for his lungs? Are the harmful chemicals in the tobacco, or are they additives, or both?

It seems a little like switching from vodka to wine coolers when you have liver disease.

I don’t want to lose my dad. Ever. It terrifies me to even think of it. Losing one parent was hard enough, and I appreciate my dad so much more now as an adult than I ever did as a kid.