the big “d”

My only real experience with divorce is my parents’ divorce. And I was twelve. And then I almost filed for divorce with a dallas family lawyer in my third year of marriage, but we we decided to go to counseling, and it was very effective for us.

I mean, the first, second and third counselors.

Now, in year eight, we’re doing pretty good.

My sister and her husband separated a couple times - and they’ve also been in counseling for some time, holding divorce back with everything they’ve got. Well, my sister is anyway.

I see the divorce rates climbing, but I don’t know what it’s about. Is it because it’s easy? It sure doesn’t seem easy on any of the people involved.

I think my dad had no choice. My mom was a serious alcoholic in serious denial. She was cheating on him with a woman. There’s a little too much info for you. But her alcoholism was so serious that she died five years later of liver disease - at age 42! Very young. He spent a lot of his life trying to take care of her and support her, but you can’t save an alcoholic that doesn’t want to be saved.

But what about people that aren’t in crazy, co-dependent or adulterous relationships? What happens to make people think they love each other enough for forever and then decide that they don’t?

When I lived in Texas, in an Army town, there were lots of divorces. Divorce lawyer in Dallas and all over the area were really doing well, but Army families were not. Not that it’s the Dallas divorce lawyer s’ faults. I do know one couple that went to an Army Chaplain who basically told them to divorce - that there was really no hope for them. The wife was relieved and the husband was crushed. Awful.

Anyway, I don’t know where I’m going with this, but my brother-in-law and his wife have just decided to divorce, and I’m really sad about it. they have two daughters, ages nine and five, and the girls NEVER see their dad. They live in Germany and he lives in CA. So what can they do? He’s going to see them every summer and every other Christmas. To me, this sounds unbearable. But he seems alright. He was married for almost 10 years, and deployed for at least six of those. My sister-in-law has basically always been a single parent, so maybe the girls don’t really notice.

Still, it seems awful.