Down with Starbucks

It’s official. I’ve given up Starbucks. I’m not saying I’ll never drink it again, but I’ve given up my once-a-day habit. I’m taking a Personal Finance class and all the annoying 18 year olds were like, “just get your coffee at 7-11” “just buy it at Costco and home brew”, etc.

If I was only in it for the coffee, then that’s what I’d do.

First of all, they’ve obviously never had to deal with the logistics of getting a not-walking-yet fourteen-month-old out of the car seat, into a convenience store, filled a hot cup of coffee with one hand while holding the baby with the other (not recommended). Here’s how that would go down: still holding the baby, setting coffee on counter, try to open Splenda and creamer with teeth, “no baby, that’s not for you.” Baby drinks a little creamer on accident. Get lid on coffee with one hand without spilling it. Head to counter to pay. Set coffee on counter. Crap, money is in the wrong pocket, switching baby to other hip, getting out money, “no baby, don’t put that money in your mouth!”, switching baby back to other side, shoving change in pocket, picking up coffee, attempting to open door with back, some stranger takes pity on us and holds door, set coffee on roof of car, put baby in carseat, get in car and leave coffee on roof.

Now, here’s the Starbucks version of that scenario.

Mommy and baby in car, jamming to Indigo Girls. There are 5 cars ahead of us in the drive through, so I flip through a magazine. Baby drinks some sippy cup and races his Hotwheel along the carseat.  I order my drink (venti soy chai, no foam, no water, with an add shot), “that’ll be $4.55, please pull forward.” I hand the girl my handy Starbucks card that (until this week,) I always kept loaded. She hands me the best drink ever. We drive off into the sunset.

If Starbucks would just sell the concentrated chai, and not the watered down version that’s in the Tazo box, I could make it at home. But here’s what happens instead. The whole point of me getting “no water” is that the vanilla soy milk mixed with just the chai concentrate and a shot of espresso becomes this wonderful, creamy, spicy creation. The home version is a little like Eddie Murphy’s home burger…terrible. (That was a Raw reference, folks.)

But I digress. A lot. I have given up the perfect joy-bringing drink to save that $4.55 a day. Now, instead of loading my Starbucks card with $50 a couple times a month, I’m going to deposit that money in our savings account. I’ve been making a half pot of coffee at home every day and using vanilla chai spice creamer, but it sucks.

Also, my home version is only about 60 calories whereas the Starbucks drink is around 350. Since I usually burn about 200+ calories at the gym, this is an added incentive for me to give up my high-calorie chai.  But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

3 thoughts on “Down with Starbucks

  1. Loved the Eddie Murphy reference, but wasn’t the hamburger joke from Delirious? God, I need to watch those again.

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